Not The Hockey Player » Humour

I get email

Gary Roberts — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:52:10 +0000

Sometimes I get messages from people who think I’m Gary Roberts the hockey player. Today I got one from a coach for the Pittsburgh Penguins! See screenshot:

The Bubbly Virgin

Gary Roberts — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 20:40:43 +0000

Last night, New Year’s Eve, sitting at the bar in our local pub with a friend and the bartender… “Get a good grip. That’s it.” “Like this?” “Yeah, now move it gently. Gently! That’s it, keep going. Pull it slowly.” “I hope I’m doing this right.” “Mm, you got it. Nice. I can see it coming. The trick is not to make …

Kids sometimes get bad presents

Gary Roberts — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 22:01:45 +0000

When my little nephew Robert was around 5 or 6 years old, he told me to buy him a toy truck for Christmas. He had a specific truck in mind and even told me where I could buy it. I remember telling him that when we were kids my family didn’t have much money and that our …

Skating at the Harbourfront

Gary Roberts — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 23:04:30 +0000

For the record, I am not a good skater. I’m actually pretty crap at it, but I will give it a try every now and then. Today El Franco went down to the lake shore’s Harbourfront Centre Natrel Rink for a practice session—he’s taking hockey lessons right now—and I tagged along for the ride, skates in hand. …

You know you’re getting old when…

Gary Roberts — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 22:05:55 +0000

…a new Loblaws supermarket opens in the ‘hood and you can’t wait to get there with the rest of the keeners, to check it out. You start to feel there’s a party happening as you go up the escalator and you hear the sounds of an ‘opening day’ band playing on the second floor, right …

Wrestling Raccoons

Gary Roberts — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 19:29:44 +0000

As Wednesday morning came and I got ready for work, I looked out the window to check if there would be any rain in store for Toronto. The sky looked clear, and it seemed there was no threat of wet weather today. However, what definitely was in store as I looked outside was a pair …

A little rough-and-tumble

Gary Roberts — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:47:03 +0000

I think Keaton wins this one, paws down!

Before crossing: Look left, look right, look left again

Gary Roberts — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:32:23 +0000

The intersection of Bay and King Streets in the downtown core of Toronto can be a busy and treacherous crossing for pedestrians. This is where the Go Train crowds gather as they make their way to work in the mornings, or as they head back to the train station on their way home at the …

Pimp my ride!

Gary Roberts — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:39:28 +0000

1.) Take an ordinary-looking van. 2.) Instead of pimping it out with chrome, bling, or any of the other accoutrements you see on some vehicles that outwardly display the maturity of the people inside, fit it bumper-to-bumper in a soothing, green carpet of AstroTurf to calm the senses and pique the interest of passers by …

Mmm, gum…

Gary Roberts — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:16:39 +0000

I love going to the coffee shop in the mornings during the week. It’s so civilized to sit down with a mug of strong coffee and read what’s happening in the daily paper, or touch base with a good novel before starting work. What makes it especially sweet is when I grab a side table …